for those of you who have been following my blog for a while; or whom might actually know me in real life, know that i graduated last summer. i’ve spent a large part of today reflecting on my life and what i want to get out of it in the end and i realized how much i’ve grown in the past year. last year i had zero self-confidence, i felt completely secluded from others, i let people walk over me and my only defining characteristic was that i was completely unstable. i don’t regret any of it, but a small art of my rain wishes i could go back and tell myself all about the person i would become, y’know? anyway, as i got thinking about this i basically came up with a list of shit i wanted to tell my sixteen year-old-self so here’s that! 

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my life is just moments of fleeting happiness swallowed by deep, dark depression. 

oh oh oh annnnnnd i’m getting a fucking back piece done this paycheck (super duper waaay hpoefully! if sarah loves me enough)

i’m seriously going to have to buy under eye concealer due to the black circles of no sleep for the shoot tomorrow. grumble grumble.on the other hand, my nice big paycheck this week means a bigger budget for clothes for work. hollerrrr!

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i’m actually really upset. like, she didn’t even make an effort to talk to me or like recognize its saturday and that its date morning. instead she just went back to sleep and probably will sleep until past when i go to work so then i won’t even talk to her until like ten tonight. its saturday. we’re supposed to be doing something together.

i know you hate it when i interrupt when you’re reading, but sometimes i just want to hear the amused lilt to your voice when you answer my “i love yous” and stupid conversation starters about my socks. besides, sometimes when you’re reading and you trip over the hard words or you stumble your syllables its just so precious i can’t help but tell you that i love you, because, well… i do.

just me and junie today. ahhhh i love this thing!

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so, when i became single for the first time in a long time about a year ago, i wrote this ten point list of things my ideal partner would have:

1. Must be passionate about something (Music, Sports, Art…).
2. Must have strong morals which do not alter even if my opinion differs. 
3. Must show kindness to others, especially waitstaff and cashiers.
4. Must be able to address problems in the relationship at appropriate times(not amongst others), swiftly and effectively. 
5. Must be open to talking about sex, and other taboo subjects that will affect us both together in appropriate settings and times.
6. Preferably 1 - 2 inches taller than me, just enough that they can easily kiss my nose and forehead.
7. Must be kind to animals.
8. Must take interest in meeting the people who mean the most to me, and at least attempt to like them.
9. Must be able to recognize the importance of education.
10. Preferably would like to have children.

…….holy fuck i’m getting married guys.

ugh. bedtime skype calls just make me want to be there holding you and cuddling so much more. :(

seeing Hey Rosetta! tonight with chelsey
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee